The Cost of Discipleship

[This is my Faith Post for September 2025.] 
[Adapted from my sermon on September 7, 2025]

Around the year 200 AD was a young 20-something year old woman named Perpetua.  She was married and had an infant son whom she still nursed.  She came from a well-to-do family.  Her father was a pagan man but she had been introduced to Christ.  She was a self-professed Christian.  She lived in an era where Christians were under great persecution by the Roman Emperor and it happened she was arrested because of her faith in Carthage, North Africa.  In the midst of this she was also a writer.  She recorded the events of her imprisonment. Her writings are considered to be the earliest of any Christian woman in the history of the church.  

As she endured her imprisonment her father would repeatedly come and visit her and bring her infant son in to see her.  Her father would beg and plead that she renounce being a Christian that she might regain her freedom.  She records one exchange with her father where she points to a vase and asks him if the vase could be anything other than what it is.  He said no.  Perpetua then replies to her father “So also I cannot be called anything other than what I am -- a Christian.”  

As her imprisonment continued her father upped the ante and made things even more difficult for her.  Her father pleaded that she show love for her family and stop stubbornly claiming to be a Christian.  His words insinuating she bore a certain duty to be present with her family above all else, up to and including renouncing the Christian faith so she could be set free.  Perpetua’s father at times even began to refuse to bring her infant son to be nursed unless she would renounce the faith.  Through it all Perpetua remained steadfast and was eventually martyred for her faith.

One might wonder if Perpetua had been in the wrong not listening to her father. After all, we know the 4th commandment "Honor thy father and thy mother."  This conclusion, however, would be erroneous in this instance and the reason is Jesus words in Luke 14:26-27.

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”  

While the 4th commandment is one to be kept and with good reason.  Jesus speaks of a higher authority in His Luke 14 words than our parents and other earthly authorities: Jesus, Himself.  Peter and John spoke of this in their Acts 5:29 statement to the Jerusalem authorities "we must obey God rather than men." 

To be a disciple of Jesus we must follow Jesus above all things.  We must love Jesus above all things. Our Lord reinforces this interpretation a few verses later: "So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. (Lk 14:33)"  It is ultimately not just a question of the 4th commandment but rather of the very 1st Commandment. "You shall have no other gods before me."  A commandment of which Martin Luther explained as meaning "We should fear, love, and trust in God above all things."

This makes the cost of discipleship high.  We have many things in this world which we in our sinful nature would love more.  Our things and our possessions come high on this list.  Our careers, our interests, our hobbies undoubtedly vie for our hearts and our attention.  Our family, friends, and loved ones also fit on this list.  But to truly be a disciple of Jesus all of these things, even our most important relationships, must take second fiddle to our love of the Lord.  This is a good thing.  A very good thing mind you. We know this because Jesus tells us to do it. 

Now you might be thinking, isn't it a parents job to love their children?  Isn't it a husband's job to love his wife?  And of course the answer is yes.  But the best way for us to accomplish these blessed vocations is to first love the Lord.  It is not as if He is in competition for our love.  He knows best how this works.  And what works best is for us to love the Lord most and when we do this it will also teach us and lead us and enable us to then love our families in the best way possible.  

This comes true even when we see a beloved family member of friend living in open sin.  We hesitate to say anything because we don’t want to offend.  We fear taking a stand because we fear losing them if we speak against their sin.  But what’s the alternative?  Do we condone the sin? Do we choose their friendship over loving the Lord above all else?  When we do this, we choose evil and death.  We inadvertently or not make the inexplicably wrong decision as Moses put it in Deutronomy, choosing evil and death over life and good.  If we want to love one another, if we want to love those closest to us, then we surely must love God first and love God above all else.  For it is only with His love and through His love that we can truly then go forth and love one another.

This is all what makes the story of Perpetua so exemplary. She loved the Lord, and carried her cross, and followed Jesus.  She would not, she could not give up the faith.  Even if it meant upsetting and disappointing her unbelieving father.  Even if it meant losing time with her infant son.  Her master, her love was the Lord Jesus above all the rest.  What better message of love, what better example, what more fitting witness could she ultimately give to her father and give to her infant son than to live in the love of Jesus and to love them by first loving Jesus.

All glory be to Christ who makes all things new, Amen.

Mark Witte is the pastor at Grace Lutheran Church.

You can contact him at pastorwitte@gmail.com